Mike Crews | May 05 2026 12:00

A blended family’s journey to a clearer retirement and legacy plan

When Mark and Lisa first met with us, they were doing what many second‑marriage couples do best: quietly juggling a lot of moving parts.

They’d each been married before.
They each had two adult children from those prior marriages.
They married later in life, each with their own savings, habits, and worries.

On paper, they were in good shape. Between 401(k)s, IRAs, a brokerage account, and cash, they had well over a million dollars saved. The problem wasn’t a lack of assets. The problem was the complexity that came with being a blended family in (or near) retirement.

Their situation

Here’s what we saw when we put everything on one page:

Mark had most of his savings in a large 401(k) and a traditional IRA from his first career.

Lisa had a 403(b), a rollover IRA, and a modest Roth IRA she’d started a few years earlier.

They each still had separate checking and savings accounts.

The home they lived in was technically Mark’s, purchased after his divorce.

Their old wills still referenced ex‑spouses and didn’t match what they said they wanted today.

Neither could clearly explain what would happen if one of them died first.

They loved each other and wanted to support one another. They also didn’t want any of their four kids to feel forgotten or treated unfairly.

Quietly, the questions were piling up:

“If something happens to me, I want you taken care of.”
“I don’t want my kids to feel pushed aside.”
“I don’t want to accidentally leave you in a bad tax situation.”

The questions they brought in

By the time we sat down together, their concerns sounded a lot like this:

Are we saving and investing in the right places, or are we setting ourselves (and the kids) up for a big tax bill later?

If one of us dies first, what really happens to income, taxes, and the house?

How do we be fair to both sets of kids when the history and assets are different?

Is there a way to support charity and still make sure everyone is okay?

Underneath those questions was a simpler feeling: they were tired of wondering if the way everything was set up would actually work when it mattered.

What we discovered together

We started by organizing, not prescribing.

We listed:

All accounts (who owned what, tax status, and approximate balances).
Current beneficiary designations.
Social Security estimates and any pension income.
Basic spending needs and what “a good retirement” meant to each of them.
Their wishes for all four children — individually and as a group.

Once things were on paper, a few key issues stood out.

1. Heavy concentration in tax‑deferred accounts

Like many diligent savers, Mark and Lisa had done a great job funding 401(k)s and traditional IRAs. Those accounts had grown, which was the goal.

But when we modeled their future required minimum distributions, it became clear that “success” in saving could translate into higher taxable income later if nothing changed. That extra taxable income could:

Push them into higher tax brackets later in retirement.
Increase the tax on Social Security benefits.
Potentially raise Medicare premiums.
Leave the surviving spouse dealing with the same dollars, but at single filer tax rates.

In short, decades of good saving habits had unintentionally created a future tax problem.

2. Outdated and inconsistent beneficiary designations

We also found that several accounts still listed ex‑spouses as contingent beneficiaries. A few named only one child. Their wills didn’t line up with the beneficiary forms. None of it matched what they told us they wanted today.

This wasn’t intentional. Life had simply moved faster than the paperwork.

3. No detailed plan for the surviving spouse

When we walked through, “What if one of you passed away tomorrow?” the room got quiet.

We mapped:

Which income sources would continue.
Which would shrink or disappear (including one Social Security benefit).
What would likely happen with the house.
How much flexibility the survivor would have to help the kids or adapt if markets were rough.

They realized they had never really talked through how things should work for the surviving spouse — or what that would mean for each set of children.

The plan we built

We didn’t try to fix everything in one meeting. Instead, we built a step‑by‑step plan around three priorities:

Take care of each other.
Treat the kids fairly and clearly.
Make taxes and income more intentional, not accidental.

Here are some of the key pieces.

1. Clarifying “our” money vs. “separate” money

We began with an honest conversation:

Which assets did they view as “family money” to support life together?
Were any accounts mentally earmarked for “my kids” or “your kids”?
What would each be comfortable with if the other wasn’t here?

Rather than merging everything, we created a structure that balanced history, kids, and stability:

A joint account for shared expenses and emergencies.
Individual accounts that would ultimately be earmarked more specifically for each set of children.
Agreement on how these accounts would be used during their lifetimes versus at death.

The goal was clarity, not control.

2. Rebalancing tax buckets and exploring Roth conversions

Given their heavy tax‑deferred balances, we evaluated whether gradual Roth conversions might help.

We:

Reviewed their current tax bracket and how much “room” existed before reaching the next bracket.
Modeled converting a portion of IRA dollars each year within a bracket they were comfortable with.
Discussed how converting earlier, while both were alive and filing jointly, might reduce the tax burden later — especially for the surviving spouse filing single.

We weren’t trying to outguess future tax law. We were simply using today’s rules to move some dollars from “tax‑later” to “tax‑free” in a deliberate way.

3. Cleaning up beneficiaries and coordinating the estate plan

Next, we aligned paperwork with their actual wishes:

Updated retirement account beneficiaries so the spouse had necessary access for security, with children named appropriately as primary or contingent beneficiaries.

Coordinated those changes with an estate‑planning attorney, who drafted updated wills and, where appropriate, trusts that reflected their blended‑family priorities.

Clarified what should happen with the house — for example, whether the surviving spouse could live there for life and how it would eventually pass to the children.

The intent was not to “get fancy” for its own sake, but to replace unintended outcomes with written, coordinated instructions.

4. Building a retirement income plan they both understood

We then built a retirement income plan that showed:

Which accounts to draw from first and why.
How much they could reasonably spend while maintaining flexibility.
How the plan would adjust if markets were rough early on.
What income would likely look like for the surviving spouse.

For the first time, they shared a clear mental picture of how their retirement would work — and what would happen if life didn’t go exactly according to script.

Life after the plan

Several months later, the biggest change they reported wasn’t on a statement. It was in their conversations.

They told us:

They no longer avoided “what if” questions, because they had concrete answers instead of vague worries.
Mark felt better knowing Lisa would have a defined income plan, clear instructions, and a team to call if he wasn’t there.
Lisa felt better knowing that both her kids and Mark’s kids would understand the plan and why things were structured the way they were.

Their financial life didn’t suddenly become simple — blended‑family planning rarely is. But they had moved from a collection of accounts and documents to a coherent, written plan aimed at taking care of each person they loved.

If you see yourself in this story

Your details will be different, but some of this may sound familiar if you’re in a second marriage or blended family:

You each brought kids, accounts, and history into the relationship.
You’ve saved diligently, but you’re not sure everything is positioned for taxes, income, and legacy the way you’d want.
You want to be fair to everyone, but “fair” is complicated with multiple sets of children and property.

It may be worth asking:

Do our beneficiary designations, account titles, and wills still reflect what we want today?
If one of us died tomorrow, would the other have a clear plan and support?
Are our tax‑deferred, taxable, and tax‑free accounts arranged intentionally for the long term?
Have we written down how we want things to work for our kids?

You don’t have to answer those questions alone. But bringing them into the open is often the turning point.

How we help blended families like Mark and Lisa

At Forum Advisory Services, we regularly work with blended families who want to:

Take care of each other.
Take care of their kids.
Be more intentional about taxes, retirement income, and legacy.

Our work often includes:

Organizing a clear, one‑page view of accounts and income sources.
Evaluating tax buckets and, where appropriate, exploring Roth strategies.
Coordinating beneficiary designations and estate documents with your stated wishes.
Designing a retirement income plan that both spouses understand.
Helping communicate the plan so there are fewer surprises later.

If you see your own situation in Mark and Lisa’s story, a good next step is to learn more and then talk about your specific circumstances.

You can start by watching our Smart Retirement Tax Planning for Blended Families workshop, and, when you’re ready, schedule a confidential discovery visit to discuss your goals and concerns.